Using Three Words to Anchor Your Year

In Search of Goal Setting Words for 2018

"The process of setting intentions and joyfully reflecting on them is how, over time, we transform extrinsic into intrinsic motivations, and thereby sustain the energy and purpose to live true to our best aspirations." 

Thupten Jinpa, Two Exercises for Turning Intention into Motivation.

Starting in 2014, I began picking three words to remind me of my goals for the year.  Chris Brogan gave me the idea.  Here are his words for 2018.  

To my surprise, I started picking yearly words even before Brogan did.  My coach, Christine Kane, had encouraged us to pick one word. Here is her tool for finding the right word. 

In 2014, I picked:  Robin, launch, and wealth.  Click on the link for an explanation of why I chose those words. 

In 2015, I picked:  Well-being, manifestation, and love. 

In 2016, I must have completely forgotten about the goal-setting exercise in the midst of my hectic transition to Qatar.

In 2017, it took me awhile to decide on the words that resonated that year.  But, I settled on "not even afraid" after I heard it first in French. It recognized my desire to be politically active in a post-Trump world. 

This year, the words were very easy to find: "good to go."  In December, I completed a number of medical tests that revealed I am a very healthy 63-year old woman.  My devotion to exercise over the past two years has paid off in medically measurable ways, even if my clothes still fit the same way.  Ok, so good to go on swimming, training, and leading an active life. 

As importantly, I had continued to build a social network of smart, talented, and interesting friends, most of whom are women.  This is life as an expat.  People come by luck into your life and then leave.  You have to make conscious choices to keep building a network of supportive and loving friends. 

My Doha Book Club friends are especially precious to me.  But, I have also joined a group called Qatar Road Trips that has let me play with an adventurous group of men and woman. 

I am losing my dear friend and exercise buddy, Heidi, but Andrea is now interested in learning how to lift weights.  So, that could be a seamless transition (even if losing Heidi is a loss of a piece of my heart). Andrea is fluent in Arabic after taking a year-long military training course. She teaches English in the QU Foundation Program.  She is an enthusiastic training partner.

My original group of friends, "The Infidels" (not my choice of names), has also seen gains and losses.  Steve, my Kiwi friend, bolted for home. But, we replaced him with another Kiwi, Keith. My Greek friend, Iaonnis, joined us.  Canadian friends, Easton and Georgina, bring "cool" to the group, especially if we can encourage them to dance. I will lose Jessica, my travel buddy, this summer at her contract's end.  Recently, we added a linguistic professor from Greece, Irene, to the group.  She is just so cool, too, and someone I would never have met if I had stayed in the U.S.  She came to the Christmas party I held two weeks ago, where I fit 16 people into my one bedroom beach house apartment for a sit down dinner.  (It was a Christmas miracle.) Soon, I will have dinner with an Italian woman who wants to use mediation to resolve employment disputes in Qatar.  So, good to go on the social network front.

One of my supervisors just popped into my office reassuring me that I should expect a contract renewal.  They appreciate the contributions I make to student learning, scholarship, and community service.  I plan to complete three law review articles this year and help organize two major conferences in the spring semester.  So, good to go professionally.

Another big category is financial, of course.  Now that I am completely settled in, I am focusing on saving money.  I have put myself on a strict budget that I began after my profligate, regret-free, summer in Bangkok.  So, good to go. 

And, finally, travel.  I hope to go to Japan this summer with a stop in Vietnam, where I might get a teaching gig.  If I stay strong and healthy, I will be literally "good to go." 

What three words work for you in the coming year to remind you of your projects, plans, goals, and aspirations? 

Manifesting Change

"Calling it In from the Universe"

As part of my goal setting process at the beginning of this year, I reviewed the materials I assembled during my three entrepreneurial coaching programs offered by Christine Kane.  One of her workbook tools asked me to answer this question: "What will you have created/manifested/attracted in the upcoming year? The tool asked me to list ten things.

I must have filled out this "intention and clarity" tool during the February 2015 retreat in Asheville, North Carolina.  At that time, I had applied for the job at Qatar University, but I did not have a job offer. I had visited Dubai in December 2014, and I knew I wanted a job in the Arab Gulf region.  

Here is what I put on the list:

• New circle of close colleagues.
• New circle of expat friends.
• Inroads into Qatari culture.
• Travel in Asia.
• New fitness level.
• New home furnishings.
• New car,
• New student relationships.
• New diet.
• More cultural life. 

So let me tell you what did manifest in my life this past year.

New Colleagues:

I am now a member of the faculty of the Qatar University College of Law. That faculty is four times the size of ASL's law faculty. My colleagues have lived in all parts of the world; pursued education in prestigious universities in the US, England, and elsewhere; speak two or more languages; practice law in civil, common, and mixed law systems; bring a global perspective to teaching; can talk about international laws, treaties, and conventions with ease; and welcomed me into their intellectual arms.  Most of them have Ph.Ds, so I'm the dumb one in the bunch. 

New Expat Friends:

It always takes time to make new friends, but here, I just listen for a US, English, Canadian, Australian, or New Zealand accent.  If I find a person with that accent, I invite him or her to my next "beach house party."  

I love the different experiences they bring into every conversation. I will be sad when they rotate home, but then I will just have to make more friends.  Also, my book club consists of strong, well-educated women who provide another safe harbor here.

Qatari Culture:

I am still learning how to navigate this "high context" culture. 

I kissed a puppy when I was invited by a student to her farm. In doing so, I made a very big cultural mistake, and I knew it while I was doing it. Even so, I needed the puppy love. Most people in the Arab countries do not keep dogs as inside pets. They do keep them outside as work or guard dogs. Blogger Daniel Pipes has one theory about this dislike for dogs, but my research shows various explanations and not much agreement.

I wore the wrong thing to a student's engagement party.  I was miserably under-dressed.   

I've learned to ask more questions.  I wore the right thing to a recent student's wedding, but had to ask someone about every element of the all-women event, including when I should go home.  

I am reading books on Islam, because it plays an important role in the Qatari culture.  I recently finished a book on fatwas for women, a 1996 book published in Saudi Arabia.  It gave me deeper insight into the lives of my women students.

I talk to my students and ask them about their lives as young women living here. 

Not speaking Arabic makes me miss out on many things, but I do know a handful of words.

Travel in Asia:

I was a bit surprised to see this item on the list.  But, I have always wanted to travel to Thailand.  I spent two weeks there this past summer.  It exceeded all my expectations.  

Later this week, I am off to Malaysia and then to Taiwan.

New fitness level:

This week, I started Week 23 of my fitness program.  Last week, Heidi (my accountability buddy) and I did four sets of wall squats for 60 seconds each. When we started the program in July, we could do 20 seconds each.  That is tangible progress.

New home furnishings:

In April, I moved into a housing complex called Qanat Quatier in The Pearl.  The complex is built to look like Venice, Italy.  It has a private beach on the Arabian Gulf and an increasing number or restaurants and shops. A gym opened this past month. A yoga studio should open soon.

My sun-filled, top-floor, one bedroom apartment is smallish, but sufficient.  I have a nice balcony and two bathrooms.

When the University's housing department told me I would be moving there, I immediately began scouting home furnishings fit for a beach house.  I just love it.

I am right across the street from the Porto Arabia harbor, with its yachts, shops, restaurants, paddle board outfitters, and walkways.

New car:

I did leave my new car behind in Grundy under the care of my personal assistant, Brenda.

Here, I rely on a driver, Ashif, to get me through the chaotic and dangerous Doha traffic. I love leaving all the stress to him.  I told him this week, that I am starting to act like a baby. As soon as I crawl into the back seat, I start to yawn. Maybe in a few months, I'll start napping in the car.

New student relationships:

I recently posted about how much I love my Qatari students. I feel honored to be working with them knowing that they are the future leaders of Qatar's legal community.

New diet:

Can you say shawarma, lamb kebab, beef kofta, baba ghanoush, fatoush, kebbeh, dates, pomegranate seeds, labneh, mezze, lentil soup, matboha, hummus, and taboulah?

I do love Arabic food as long as it does not involve a lot of rice, sweets, or sugary beverages.  That limitation still leaves a lot of high-flavor foods, including many grilled meats. 

One of my favorite drinks is a lemon-mint (sans sugar syrup). 

People often offer you cardamon-flavored Arabic coffee as a sign of hospitality. They serve it out of a long-lipped pot into small handle-less cups.

More cultural life:

I like being back in a city with more cultural offerings, including live music, museum exhibits, festivals, tennis tournaments, camel racing, and other events, including a spring beauty contest for sheep.

This past week-end, I returned to the Museum of Islamic Art to view an exhibit of Chinese art and sculpture. Outside the museum, mostly Asian expats had stalls full of crafts and street food. 

I also love exploring the souk.

Bam!

So, bam!  I made it all happen.  This is not Grundy, Virginia.  

Now, what goes on the list for 2017?

* I have permission from the people shown in the photographs to use the photos in this post.